Losing My Voice

 

Recently I was looking through some old journals, where I write my thoughts and prayers, and I was a little surprised to read some things from years ago, that I'm still talking to the Lord about today.  

As I read my words from back then, I thought "Good grief, I should be farther along than that!" So I started to analyze this particular area of concern and ask myself why it was still a place of struggle for me and to be honest, the best thing I can come up with is the old Flip Wilson saying from years ago..."the devil made me do it!" If you don't remember who Flip was, you'll have to google him 😀

But really, as I was thinking back to the time when I would blog every day and write with passion for encouraging young moms, I wondered what happened to my voice. I remember it like it was yesterday because it literally happened overnight. I went from having lots to say, to all of a sudden, having nothing of value to offer, or so I thought.

It was like my passion disappeared overnight, like the thief walked in, grabbed my passion and all my words and I've never been able to recover it all.  Funny enough, the timing corresponds with the beginning of my journey on Instagram and a few encounters in real life, if you want to know the truth. A journey of opening my phone every day and seeing the words of others who seemed more confident, more established, or maybe just more bold to say their words out loud. And hearing those words of others, slowly began to silence mine, until one day I just had nothing else to say.

That's the way the enemy works. He comes in like a thief in the night and steals something of value to you. The scenarios are endless, but the method is always one of deception and lies. 

He whispered in my ear that my words were no longer needed; no longer worth anything and guess what? I believed him. For years. 

I believed that those other women had it more together than me. 

I believed that God was using them, but not me. 

I believed that their "likes" and "follows" held more weight than mine.

I believed it all and still do sometimes.

So when I opened my journal from years ago and read the same struggles and realized they were still valid to this day...I thought how ridiculous that I've allowed the enemy to rob me of something the Lord once used me for. How fitting that Satan would take something that was meaningful to me and other young moms and glorifying God and reduce it down to nothing. 

Of course, just like in the Flip Wilson skits of long ago, it wasn't all the devil's fault. I had to agree at some point. I had to give in, give up, stop writing, stop ministering and start believing his lies. And I did all of that.

And now I see it all for what it really was and now, maybe, I'm ready to get my voice back. Maybe I'm ready to build new dreams and write new words and tell the devil where to go. I don't want to look back through the journals of 2025 and read the same things over and over. It's time to let the Lord speak through me once again and not look around at what others are doing or saying. They have their place and I have mine and neither is more valuable than the other. Different, but not less than or more than. Just different.

💛

Have you ever felt silenced? Has the enemy ever stolen your voice or your confidence? It's so easy in today's world to hand over our confidence, our gift, our offering, because it seems everyone is doing it better. 

But there's only one who has been called to what you've been called to and with your voice. There's only one who can tell your story and if that story glorifies God, then you will have a target on your back. But the devil can't make you do anything. He can only do what you agree with, so stand firm and tall and keep at whatever the Lord has called you to do. You will find your way back and the world needs to see that, as well. 

Until Next Time...

Blessings!