Training Wheels

 

Yesterday David and I took the girls to the park to ride bikes. We discovered a great park with plenty of toys to play on, as well as a walking track that circled the entire playground, which was the perfect place to ride our bikes. So down the track we went...Addie on her tiny bike, Emmy on her thrifted bike, David and I on our bikes we bought a few years back and Ella's brand new bike we just bought for her birthday. 

As I rode behind Ella for several trips around the track, I was focused on how fast she was able to ride and attributing it to the training wheels she decided to leave on her new bike. You see, when we bought her new bike, the one that fit her best was one that had training wheels on it. We removed them on the day we brought the bike home, but after testing it out, she decided she preferred the help of the extra wheels and I agreed. 

So, as we rode lap after lap around the walking track, I couldn't help but think about what those training wheels were gifting her at the moment. Instead of constantly feeling unsure, becoming unsteady and falling over, time and again, she was moving on like the rest of us. She never wavered. She rode until her little legs were tired and we all took a rest, but it wasn't because her bike was too much. It was because she was using her muscles and getting the job done - all because of her extra wheels. 

I was so proud of her for not being too embarrased to ride with extra help (she is 8 years old, after all), because it truly was the difference between enjoying our time there or everyone being frustrated and ready to call it a day.

It reminded me of how perfect we all try to be these days. If you've spent five minutes on social media, you have to admit, you've felt the pang of not being able to create beautiful loaves of bread, or get your child to sleep in five easy steps. If you aren't able to organize your pantry in matching containers or whip up a gourmet dinner with a cute apron on, using your own herbs from your perfectly grown garden, then you're not adding up. It's almost too much to take in, anymore. 

My heart breaks for the pressure on young moms who have grown up with the comparison of the world, right in their hands, 24/7. It's too much. I'm 59 and it's too much for me! I can't live up. 

When I was a young mom, my greatest comparison was my circle of friends. But we learned from one another, we weren't always trying to one-up one another. We didn't have to appear on everyone's screen, looking like a model while cooking a three course meal, with a baby strapped to our chest.   

We also didn't have to run a business, be a life coach, have a website, create a course, produce a product, all while birthing our children and chasing toddlers. These days, if you can't do all of that by the end of your 20's, you're already behind. 

What does all of this have to do with training wheels?

As I rode behind Ella that day and watched those training wheels keep her steady and on track, I was so proud of her for using the help that was there. She had no shame. She wasn't trying to be cool or act brave. She just took her bike, equipped with extra wheels and she had the best time. 

We are no longer a society that can admit we don't have it all together. We wouldn't dare admit or show to the world that we need help. We're all too busy proving that we are more than equipped to "have it all" and yet, we are a society that is more mentally unstable than ever. 

Be the girl that admits you need training wheels. Be the girl that lives out the season you're in, and not the one that is constantly trying to prove you've got it all together. Because really...you don't. None of us do. And that's ok. 

Life is so much more fun when you're steady on your feet, propped up by an extra set of wheels (or hands), and not trying to be someone you're not. 

There will be a time to fly (or ride) without the extra help, but until then, use the help you have. Buy the store bought bread. Use the herbs from the store, the pizza when you don't feel like cooking and the ivory soap that costs 95% less than what they're selling you on Instagram. 

Be the girl that's not too cool for training wheels. That's all I'm saying.