Good Wednesday Morning, my friends!
I hope you're having a great week so far. I've been keeping busy around the house and having trouble keeping up with what day it is for some reason. I guess the holiday last week through me off track.
Yesterday David and I attended the funeral for our friend Judy who passed away suddenly. True to how funerals go, we saw so many old friends, and we all agreed...we have to stop meeting like this. If there's one good thing about Facebook, at least we can keep up with those we don't see very often.
But while watching the slideshow the family put together in memory of Judy, I was impressed with how many photos there were of Judy and her family and it got me thinking about how many times I duck out of the way and don't want to be in the picture.
Over the years, as age has settled in, along with weight, gray hair, skin sagging and all the other things we see when we look in the mirror, the more I shy away from ever being in pictures. And I know I'm not the only woman to feel this way.
But as I sat watching the slideshow of Judy, I thought to myself, what would it be like if my family had to go looking for a stack of photos of me? Would they find many? Probably not. And how sad that would be to let insecurities be the reason that memories weren't documented at family gatherings.
As I shared this thought with my daughter-in-loves last night at our family dinner, Morgan took out her phone and snapped this picture of Ella and I.
We had just been playing with this scarf in my hair; figuring out how to wear it with my curls and so I had no idea what my hair would look like in the picture, but it didn't matter. I needed to be in the picture with my sweet granddaughter and capture the moment and the memory, without worrying about the details.
And so it begins. Not being afraid to look imperfect. Not hiding away from family photos because I wore my sweatpants that night. Not missing a chance to document this amazing family I have and the fun we have together.
I know it sounds heavy, but the pastor said yesterday, that we write our own funeral by how we live our life. And I've heard that before. But every time I hear it, it is such a great reminder that how we live, is how we are remembered. And I want to be remembered for being present. Being in the picture. Having the fun and not caring about the picture, but about the people.
So in case you have been the one ducking out of the pictures, in case you're the one who's always behind the camera and never in front of...this post is for you.
Your people love you and they want to see you. Pictures are memories captured for the future. Make sure you're in them.
Have a beautiful day, my friends.
Until Next Time...
Blessings 💛
This is so me. For years I've taken the pics and avoided being in them. My granddaughter at 4 even told me daughter - "Grandma likes to take pictures but not be in them". So I'm working on it!
ReplyDeleteCute pic of you and your granddaughter!
Mari, we all need to work on this :) With granddaughters it's tough because we want to teach them to love the way they look and not inherit the world's craziness about looks or weight.
DeleteHello Debbie. What a beautiful piece of writing, and how true it is. It takes great strength to face the insecurities and self-image we have built over the years. You're absolutely right. Most of us are afraid of criticism and of whether we're following the crowd or not. But as you concluded, the beauty lies in the things we want to keep, in the moments we want to share, and in those moments we are truly ourselves because we are choosing our own lives without worrying about what anyone else may think or say. On the other hand, some moments remain in our hearts, and perhaps they never need to be captured in a photograph. Photographs can fade, deteriorate, or be lost over time. But how people felt in those moments... that can stay with us forever.
ReplyDeleteRecently I've tried to be in the moment more with the family and not pick up the phone to capture all the cute pictures, but honestly, I've regretted that I haven't captured more moments on camera, because I go to find a picture and realize none are current. It's a balancing act. When I look at my mom's photos, I appreciate the memories she captured of a time when I was too little to remember.
DeleteI think it's such a mom thing to be the one who always takes the pictures to end up not being in many. But what a great reminder! I love what the pastor shared about writing your own funeral by how you live your life. I've never heard that said before at a funeral, but it's so true! I also love it when I see a fully attended funeral; when my dad died, there was standing room only at his. That was something we always talked about, how sad it is when a funeral is sparsely attended. I'm sorry to hear about your friend Judy. I know you're thankful for the hope we have in Jesus! I always am when I hear of someone dying who was a believer.
ReplyDeleteJenn, my dad's funeral was the same way. It's such a testament to how a person impacted those around them.
DeleteOn the flip side, I know what it is like to have your loved one's funeral with very little (almost none) in attendance. It is heartbreaking. Lots of reasons for this...but the chance to make the difference between the two types of funerals is, yes, while we are still here.
DeleteNow...about taking pictures. Ugh. Such wise advice but such a challenge for me. I will try to work on that (oh my).
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a challenge :)
DeleteYes, yes, yes! Love this so much my Friend. Matt loves taking selfies of us and lots of documenting pics of people and places. I used to think it was such over kill, but I have turned that to gratitude that our lives and happiness are being documented so well for my kiddos (& hopefully grandbabies to come) :) Love that pic of you with Ella and LOVE your hair with scarf - so cute!
ReplyDeleteThank you Carrie! Yes, take lots of pics to show the future babies :)
DeleteWhile there are plenty of snapshots of me at all stages of life, you make a really good point here that we all need to remember. The pictures of my late husband are the most precious thing of him that I have. All the other things are just 'stuff' but the pictures are what touch, grieve, and comfort my heart the most.
ReplyDeleteYou and Ella look GREAT in this picture. The pictures of us with others mean so much after we are gone. It's a reminder that we were TOGETHER.
Barbara, such a great point. What a blessing it is to have plenty of photos to spark those memories of our lives together.
DeleteYou are beautiful and I know everyone will remember you for that beauty that's inside and out. Your post is a great reminder to me, someone who hates pictures of myself.
ReplyDeleteDawn, thank you so much :) I encourage you to start allowing some pictures to be taken. I know it's a challenge because we want to be perfect. But I think people that love us, see us through different eyes.
DeleteOh, this post brought tears to my eyes. First, I am sending my deepest condolences to you and David on the sudden loss of your friend Judy. Seeing old friends at funerals really does always bring that bittersweet realization that we shouldn't wait for tragedy to gather and connect. That photo of you and sweet little Ella is absolutely stunning! Your curls look gorgeous with that scarf, but more than anything, the pure joy and love radiating from both of your faces is what completely steals the show. Morgan did a wonderful thing by snapping that, and I am so glad you let her!
ReplyDeleteMelody, you always leave the sweetest comments. Thank you!
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss...thank you for your sweet thoughts, I think the majority of us take life for granted and as I look back, I should have been in more photos etc...I am afraid, I am not that brave. It's hard to see one's self-looking so old etc...just keeping it real. Wishing you a beautiful day.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I can absolutely relate. The mirror is not my friend on most days :)
DeleteHello, my friend. Sorry about the loss of your friend. And thank you for that reminder. I often step away from pictures, and now I am more aware of the importance of being in them. And you, by the way, look awesome.
ReplyDeleteThank you Billie Jo :)
DeleteBeautiful reflection and reminder of the importance of including yourself in family pictures.
ReplyDeletePrecious shot of you and little Ella.