Let's Be Done With The Fake "Slow Homemaking" Fad

 

Recently a friend and I have been having long conversations about the current state of social media and the affect it's having on the younger moms and women in general, and I wanted to share it here too, because I think it's so important. 

Just as blogging did, many years ago, social media has changed since it first came on the scene and it's not for the better. Back in the blogging beginning (I started in 2008), blogs were simply moms and women connecting with other women. Then it became all about making money, so everyone filled their blogs with ads and pop-ups and they became curated and well-thought-out and not really authentic. I never jumped on that bandwagon. I was happy with my 100 followers and the community I had built over the years (still am). 

Fast forward to the present and social media is all about looking perfect, selling you the must-have items you can't live without, perfectly organized pantries with matching containers and moms who not only look like a thousand bucks, but carry their baby around on their back while cooking a gourmet meal. In other words...it's not real!

As my friend and I were discussing God's calling on our lives to share things and encourage women, we  were talking about how we feel sorry for the young moms of today, having to see all the curated content on social media, that shows the "slow homemaking" fad and just how unrealistic those videos are.

There is nothing slow about homemaking and raising young kids! It's a full time job and you have to be on your toes, wake up before the kids and get your own act together or you're behind the entire day. 

When I was a young mom, my day was filled with chicken nuggets, Veggie Tales, Legos, homeschooling and then trying to figure out what to have for dinner. And let me tell you...it wasn't gourmet, there was no sourdough starter that I nursed for weeks, just to make the perfect loaf of bread and I certainly didn't wear the baby on my back, while dressed in my latest yoga pants (which I've never owned, and never will!). 

No, once the kids were up, it was full steam ahead with life and we didn't stop to film fancy reels or dress the kids in matching outfits sent to us by the sponsor of the video. We shopped at Gymboree when we had extra money or got a bag of hand me downs from a gracious friend. 

The point being that the moms on social media are not helping by sharing content that looks perfect. It's actually creating a world of young moms who feel defeated and less-than, because they don't have their lives perfectly laid out, like the social media queens. 

And it's affecting all of us, in some ways, because we all see the perfectly organized pantries, the meal planning in cute little jars, the houses that are decorated like a designer came in that day, and gardens that are providing all the fresh veggies a girl could want. And you know what? We can't live up!

We can't live up and we need to stop trying.

Raising young children is not pretty. It's precious, but it's hard work. Keeping a home running is hard work. It's a lot of giving of yourself and not getting a paycheck. It's labor intensive. Between cleaning, cooking, planning, paying bills and making sure the kids are clothed and fed, it's all you can do to fall into bed at night.

If the Instagram and TikTok moms really wanted to be authentic, they would show themselves frazzled and out of breath from chasing toddlers. They would talk about how tired they really are and how they had a good cry last night because the kids wouldn't go to sleep. They would admit they fed their children the same meal for three nights in a row because they're at the end of the paycheck or couldn't bear dragging all the kids to the store this week. 

This is real life and it's what needs to be shared, so that real women and young moms can know they aren't alone in their struggles.

This is what blogging used to be about - kind of like the days when you would actually call your best friend on the landline and tell her how bad your day went, so they could tell you the same and by the end of the call, you both felt better 😊

I have two precious daughter-in-loves and I never want them to feel inadequate because they see the fake perfection on social media. I want them to know real women, real young moms, and I want them to share their hardships and their struggles with real friends who can relate. This is how you stay strong in this season that is hard. You build each other up and you spur one another on to do it all again the next day.

And the same is true for us, who are older. We need real friendships and true mentors, even at our age! We don't need perfection. We need encouragement about how to age gracefully, among aging bodies and retirement wages. We need real testimonies of how the Lord got you through a hard time. We need tips and tricks on how to navigate cooking for two (or one) and the adjustments of an empty nest. 

We all need real people who've been there and survived. This is what the world of social media is missing. 

If you're an older woman and you have young moms in your life, I hope you'll have a conversation about the pitfalls of what they are seeing on social media. Tell them the stories of how you managed to get through the days of young children and running a home. Tell them your struggles and about the older women who encouraged you. Tell them how you did your budget, how you planned your meals and what you did with your kids when you needed a break. 

I still remember having conversations with women at church, who were one season of life ahead of me. Those conversations shaped me in so many ways, as a young mom. 

If this post resonates with you, I hope you'll share it with someone who needs encouragement. And if you're a young mom in the trenches of diapers, chicken nuggets and running a household, you've got this! You are doing a great job and you will survive...one bedtime story at a time. You're going to make it 💛

Until Next Time...

Blessings!